What was your last dream about?
I bought light-up shoes.

Have you ever realized Disney World is a people-trap operated by a mouse?
Yeah, Minnie and Mickey Mouse.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America’s problems?
Violence isn’t the answer? Oops.

Can you hear me now?
No, can you speak up a bit?

Tell me a secret.
Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.

Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hotdogs?
Ummmm… a McWeiner?

At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
Both! The chair in front of me is mine too.

If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do we celebrate Halloween?
They hope we get poisoned.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point down when they ask where the bathroom is?
Because people can’t look at our no-no squares. Duh.

Why are Trix only for kids?
Because parents can’t handle Trix!