A Senior Speaks…

A Senior Speaks...

Facial hair is probably one of the most noticeable things when it comes to recognizing an athlete.  Right now, it seems athletes all over the nation are trying facial hair out for size. I mean no matter how bad the athlete may look, facial hair is big in any sport.

First off, let me go ahead and state, that I cannot grow facial hair.

I am so jealous of all my friends who are growing their “Grizzly Adams” beard, and I can’t even sprout peach fuzz. It seems every sport I watch, there is facial hair. I just feel like my favorite sports are showing off all the luscious hair on their faces.

Don’t get me wrong, some athletes should just stay away from facial hair. One athlete I believe should reconsider the facial-hair-movement is Joe Flacco, quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens.

If you haven’t seen Joe Flacco with his facial hair, look up a picture. Flacco attempted to grow out a Fu-Manchumoustache, which is a moustache that grows down past the lips and on both sides of the chin. Flacco’s Fu-Manchu did not grow in very thick, and made him look a little on the creeper side. Flacco this season though has shaved off the Fu-Manchu, and in my opinion looks great.

Logan Mankins and Brett Keisel are two linemen who both need to reconsider their facial hair. Mankins, offensive guard for the New England Patriots, is attempting this season to repeat the mistake that Flacco made last year; the Fu-Manchu. Keisel, who is a defensive end for the Pittsburgh Steelers, has one of the most ridiculous looking beards I have ever seen. Both of these guys need to look in a mirror and realize that no facial hair is better than bad facial hair.

On the better side of things, many athletes can pull off the facial hair better than Robert Goulet himself. Goulet who is a Canadian-American actor/singer, is probably best known for his prestige award, The Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year.

Jayson Werth, right fielder for the Washington Nationals, has a very impressive beard, and attributes it to his success, a superstition Werth has carried with him since he arrived in Washington. James Harden, who was the NBA’s sixth man of the year and guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder, has a great beard, and is recognized almost exclusively for it. Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants pitcher, straight rocks his beard whenever he can, and takes great pride in what he has grown.

Many facial-hair fashions have been retired after the athlete hangs it up for good. Alexi Lalas, Retired defender of the United States National Soccer Team, grew one of the greatest beards ever seen on the soccer field. After retirement, Lalas shaved, and is now part of breaking down soccer at ESPN. Matt Light, former offensive tackle for the New England Patriots, grew one of the greatest beards to ever block for Tom Brady. After retiring, Light shaved his beard, allowing Logan Mankins to take his spot on the o-line; and as beard of the team. (He sucks at both)

Yet, I still sit at home at wonder what it is like to be like them. Just flaunting off my great facial hair would allow me to be the man that I just can’t be in my current Peach-fuzz City. No matter though, for now I will just be known as the kid with no facial hair, and live my life with a boring face.


Blog by Ian Bostock